Spaces. In. Between
I’ve been paying attention to the spaces. in. between…
… every letter and word I type, the punctuation & white space that injects language & meaning to shape & form
… the flight of a falling leaf as it glides along a gentle breeze just before it settles, sighing in relief and nestling into the welcoming earth
… that which is no longer and what is not yet
… the warm comfort of a big hug encircling me with love & care and the melting of every pretense & armor keeping me isolated & disconnected
… “romance and the possibility of things”*
… every inhale and exhale -- the sacred pause, a glimpse into our inner Self
- x - x - x -
While in India this summer, I was reminded of a common refrain – equally applicable in crowded places & queues, as in personal relationships & shared items – “adjust karo, jageh do” (translation, adjust and give space). A simple, even kind, request on the surface. And also, a sentiment that leans on the notion that one, especially one that falls on the lower rungs of patriarchy & class/ caste, should sacrifice personal space and comfort in service of those deemed higher up. Space becomes a tool for wielding power and control over. I wonder what would unfold if negotiated space that respected and upheld agency became an invitation to share power with and for. What possibilities might unfold in that imagination?
- x - x - x -
The experienced tangible moments on either side of space are like the structure of a riverbank holding and guiding a river along its path. Those moments are where I have tended to focus my attention and spend much of my time, hopping from one bank to the next. I attended to ‘doing’ in a world what celebrates action and busyness. The structure was steadying and stable, offering a picture of success by external standards (that I adopted as my own). I was engaged -- in business development & marketing, writing a monthly blog, designing new coaching programs, yoga classes, volunteer work -- until it started feeling constricting & constraining, moving me from choice towards compliance and the vicious world of ‘should’ & ‘have-to’.
So I untangled myself from the tethers of doing and started to float. Meandering from book to book, conversation to conversation. All summer. At the pool. In meditation and movement. No blogs or new programs. It felt good for a while -- I was free!
Then I started to question whether the aimless wandering was actually freedom. It didn’t feel free. I didn’t feel present. Like I was detaching from myself. I was numbing rather than tapping into my Source for nourishment, inspiration, and a playful sense of wonder.
The shift away from structure didn’t move me towards flow with the river because flow requires a mindful presence to fully immerse in the here and now. Because flow is the ‘and’, the acceptance of what is. All of it: the floating & numbing, the structure & doing, the flowing & being.
- x - x - x -
Over the years, I have gone from believing that there is a right path that ‘good Indian girls’ must follow to…
… learning that the ‘yes, and’ approach moves us from a binary world of either-or scarcity towards the abundance of paradox and possibility;
… recognizing that balance and complementarity is baked into the ancient traditions of yoga’s sthira sukham (loosely translated as effort and ease), yin yang of Daoism, and feminine-masculine of Hindusim;
…discerning – still today – that flow is all about the in-between. The interstitial spaces that bind and hold and release and restore.
Flow is space, structure, and
everything
in
between.
*Larenz Tate’s character in Love Jones had a lot more to share about romance and possibility that still gives me the chills!
